In a recent conversation I had with a leader, she said to me “The leadership team doesn’t feel the organization is changing fast enough, yet our people feel overwhelmed by the changes currently underway”. Quite the paradox – we need to change faster, yet people are already feeling stretched to their limit. And the dominant mindset in these situations is “Can't we find a way to help our people change faster?”
People Aren’t Computers
The mindset around “how to help people change faster”, is much like how we upgrade our computers. Can’t we upgrade their processor speed, install more RAM, make them more agile, etc.?
But here’s the problem. People are far more complex, nuanced (and emotional!) about all of this than a computer. Ask people if they want more change in their lives (besides something like getting a new phone or going on a free vacation) and they generally say “no, I’m just getting by already.” And this isn’t a character assessment of them – it is more about our biology.
We all have a nervous system that has evolved perfectly over the millennia for one thing – survival. And embedded in our nervous system are a number of artifacts that, while great for survival, create a variety of problems when it comes to change. One, is that most of us carry an inherent aversion to change. This looks like “the devil you know is generally assumed to be better than the devil you don’t know”. Second, is that we all carry a negativity bias, where anything that our brain perceives as ‘bad’ is registered much more intensely than things we register as ‘good’. Our aversion to change makes it something most of us see as ‘bad’, requiring lots of justification and convincing for us to see it as 'good'. And third, we are wired to seek homeostasis or equilibrium. For many of us this looks like “we like how things are.”
So, the notion of change flies in the face of much of our natural wiring.
Get Grounded So You Can Be More Open to Change
Rather than try to be more convincing on why change will be good for us, what if we shift our focus towards “what can we do to put our brains in the most stable mental/emotional state to be open to change?” This is where we will naturally experience the most openness and curiosity to explore our world. It may seem counterintuitive, but sometimes we need to slow down to go faster.
Let me use the kite as a metaphor. There are a number of factors required for a kite to fly. The obvious one is we need wind. Lots of it. More wind equals more lift. The piece that we tend to take for granted and something that is key to a kite flying at all, is that the other end of the string must be firmly anchored. Let go of the string and the kite flips, flops and quickly crashes into the ground.
I think we overlook the grounded side of the equation, both at work and in our personal lives. How often do we pause to assess our own readiness or the readiness of our team for change? How often do we as leaders confirm that our people are grounded and anchored in such a way that they will not be blown over by ever more change? And do we take care of ourselves to ensure we are grounded and resilient?
An Integrated Mind – The Sweet Spot for Change
In an earlier post, I wrote an article entitled “Living Life Between Chaos and Rigidity”. In that post, I shared how Daniel Siegel has a great way of describing what he refers to as an “integrated mind”. This is our mind at its best, where we are our most stable and resilient, and our most creative and innovative. Siegel sees integration as the place of wellbeing between two mental/emotional extremes: chaos and rigidity.
Imagine it this way; you are floating down a river in a canoe, where one riverbank represents chaos and is filled with raging white water and the other bank represents rigidity and stagnation. The chaos side of the river is characterized by instability, overwhelm, anxiety and even fear, where we feel we are out of control and at the mercy of the rapids. This is what it feels like when we are overwhelmed by change and challenges in our life and it is very hard to perform at our best in this mental/emotional state.
The rigidity side of the river is filled with stagnation and a lack of growth and it also makes it very hard to perform at our best. We need a healthy amount of change and challenge in our lives or we stop learning and growing. The problem is we currently tend to overvalue change at the expense of stability.
Seigel describes how our brain works best when we find the balance between rigidity and chaos, and I see the truth in this everywhere I look. When we are in this sweet spot between the two, we are calm and clear, but also more curious and creative. Critical thinking and creativity at are at their best. We are better able to pay attention to what matters rather than inflate little things into giant issues or stressors. We are better able to analyze, interpret, explore fresh options and make choices from this brain state. And this ultimately makes it easier for us to adapt and change.
When we are struggling with too much change we are too far into chaos and we need to add things that stabilize us and bring us back to the sweet spot between chaos and rigidity.
So, What’s Keeping You Grounded?
There is an excitement to a world that's getting faster and better. New gadgets, apps, tools, processes, and solutions to old problems, all aimed at making us better.
While change invariably brings something positive into our world, each change moves us subtly toward the chaos side of the river. Even the beneficial changes still require us to let go of something old and make room for something new. And when we experience more change than we can absorb, we need to first pause 'the adding of more change into our lives' and, like the kite, refocus on getting grounded and anchored.
At an organizational level, a recent article by HBR “If You Want Engaged Employees, Offer Them Stability” pointed to a number of good practices which can help ground employees in the organization. Things like clarity in the psychological contract between employee and employer and creating and environment of psychological safety (which is key for anyone to perform at their best).
On the personal level, we all have practices in our lives that help ground us. Examples include:
- Exercise. Particularly exercise that provides a genuine sense of renewal, rather than another task or “should” in our day.
- Sleep. Arianna Huffington dedicated an entire book “The Sleep Revolution” to the idea that getting a good night’s sleep is the #1 hack to high performance. Here is a book summary video by Brian Johnson if you are interested in the highlights.
- Stillness. In a world of noise, speed and chaos, spending some portion of our day letting our brain unwind is vital. There are many forms of this, including journaling, practicing an instrument, art, yoga, walking with open awareness, meditation, and prayer. The key is that your brain experiences some form of stillness and quiet.
- Connection. We are social beings and all of us benefit from healthy, positive connections in our lives to thrive.
The point of this post is to remind you how important it is to make time for grounding and renewal. Do not underestimate this side of the equation! How well are you tending to your personal practices that help you stay grounded? How aware are you of how the team is doing and what they need?
Conclusion
Change is a constant. And the pace of change today seems to be getting faster. To thrive in our world, we all need to make peace with change and find ways to help us adapt and grow. Just like with a kite, a strong wind (more change) can lift us to new heights. This is a reminder to make sure that you continually assess and give time to making sure the other end of the string (be it in the organization or for you personally) is well grounded and secure as you experience change!
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Please feel free to share your comments.
If you are ready to break highly unhelpful patterns and unproductive behaviors for you or your team, book a FREE consultation with me HERE so we can explore how I can help you navigate your journey.