You don’t have to listen hard to hear it. Behind the overwhelm, stress and mental health, the resignations, and behind the numbing out, there is a common under current. After two years of pandemic restrictions, uncertainty, societal change and climate angst there is a background feeling of “a lack of control”.
As a result, people are looking to regain control in their lives in some way, which is part of the increase in career change, relationship change, and numbing out. It also includes anger, frustration and resistance, as this too gives people a sense of control.
Most people are doing this unconsciously. That’s an important distinction. Most people are simply doing their best to survive a difficult time.
But there is a tremendous opportunity in this, both for us and the people we lead. For us as leaders, how can we create a greater sense of control in our lives by responding more mindfully and in more positive ways (rather than reacting)?
And for the people we lead, it is important to recognize that a lack of perceived control is affecting everyone, so how can we help others to have a greater sense of control in their work and lives?
Four Ways You Can Take Back Control
Here are some ways you can regain a sense of control as an individual.
1. Mindset. Our mindset is like a filter that highlights certain information and downplays other information in our day. If your mindset has become “jeesh, what next?” or you are feeling “done onto” by people and circumstances, your brain will find and highlight more examples of this through the day.
If your mindset is one that believes “I have a choice in how I respond to my world and I’m damn well going to exercise that choice as best I can every day!”, the same day feels very different. Select a mindset that puts you back in control where you have control. Seek inspiration from people who think this way. Mindset is infectious and you want to infect your own thoughts positively.
2. Act (Consciously!). When you feel like numbing out, pause, notice that and think what might be a conscious action you can take that creates a sense of control? If you are overwhelmed by negative news make a conscious choice about what information you are going to consume. When you are angry about the way the world is right now, what small actions can you take to make it a better place? The very act of choosing and acting gives us momentum and increases our sense of control.
3. Connect. Why include “connect” here? Most of us have become too isolated during the pandemic. When we are alone and lost in our own thoughts or problems, we can lose perspective. Connecting with others not only gives us a boost in our mood that helps to navigate a world that feels out of control, it also helps us to see that everyone is experiencing their own struggles. We are a social species and connections provide a greater sense of control and security by realizing we are not alone and leveraging the support of others.
4. Create (Intentionally!). We are all builders, makers and creators. There is something very satisfying about bringing something into the world that didn’t exist before, even something as simple as dinner for the family (the key being that it was done with intention). Creating is an act of defiance in the face of entropy and chaos. So, make time to intentionally create something in your world and push back on the chaos.
Here is a list of a few things (physical, social, aesthetic and spirit) that you can create more of in your world: music, kindness, art, knowledge, introductions, stillness, food, enthusiasm, order, cleanliness, joy, playlists, photographs, health, gratitude, clarity, writing, beauty, inspiration, collaboration, focus, poetry and most importantly - love. Have fun with it and feel the defiance against the chaos as you bring something new and good into the world.
I wish it were easier for us. I wish that we didn’t need to put more effort into this. But rather than complain about it, I strive to use the current challenges to grow, learn and stay enthusiastic. Some days are harder than others, so I just do my best.
How about you? How can you regain a sense of control in your life? And importantly, how can you empower others to give them a greater sense of control in these uncertain times.
Let’s connect as I would love to learn what is challenging you and your organization these days.
To help your team perform at their best through these challenging times, please connect with me at scott@mindfulwisdom.ca.