First there were the moths. Last week it was thick smoke and a red sun. What's next? Locusts? It does feel a bit apocalyptic at times.
With many regions seeing a rise in COVID-19 numbers, along with increasing concerns as we navigate back-to-school (for those with school age kids), and who knows what challenges you are facing this week, it feels like a lot some days.
If you are noticing your brain thinking "man, we need a break from all of this", that would be a completely natural reaction. A break would be nice! Unfortunately, the reality is that most of this is outside of our control, and it may be hard for us for quite a while.
So, how do we prepare for whatever comes next, knowing more is coming?
Steadying the Mind
One of our biggest challenges in all of this is our own mind. You might have noticed this? How easily it can go to judgment and get frustrated over the news or difficult or frustrating situations.
Or how it just wants this to be over.
Or, how busy it gets, flitting from thought to thought and task to task, losing track of what was important in the day.
Or how hungry it gets for some form of 'candy', something to make it feel better in the moment. This can be in the form of our favourite snack or drink, but also in the form of TV, internet, social media and all the other desires that the mind tends to throw onto the stage when you are trying to do something else.
Restless, uneasy and seldom satisfied for long, much like trying to ride a wild horse, our mind can create a lot of havoc for us.
The good news is you are not alone - this is what every mind does. It is part of the human condition and something we share together.
The other good news - for thousands of years people have been working on how to tame this uneasy mind and its unhelpful tendencies. The secret? We need to train the mind, much like that wild horse. Sorry, no magic pill here! Think of training the mind as wiring in better habits or installing new software programs. It may not be instant, but it provides hope and promise for all of us.
How Do You Steady the Mind?
So, how do you train the mind to be steady? Listen to more podcasts? Read more books? Watch more TED talks? No! You don’t settle a snow globe by shaking it. Nor do you settle the mind by engaging it in more busyness.
The answer? Sitting in stillness.
That’s it? Mostly; though there is a bit more to it than that. It helps if we breathe smoothly and evenly. It helps if we focus on a specific object (often the breath, but other objects work too). And most importantly, it helps we practice regularly.
Three Minutes to a Steadier Mind?
The practice is deceptively simple. So much so that you may quickly dismiss it. And initially, the mind will quickly tire of the exercise, thinking this is a waste of time and wanting something (anything!) more interesting to do.
It is also deceptively hard to do. Initially, most people will struggle to hold their attention on the breath for one complete inhale and exhale. Most of us have habituated our mind to the point it struggles to slow down at all. Even those who practice regularly will observe how the mind takes time to settle down, much like a glass of muddy water.
But even after a few minutes of smooth, rhythmic breathing and putting your attention on the breath as best you can, most people notice a shift. A slight letting go of tension in the face, neck, shoulders or back. A slight calmness that wasn’t there before. Or perhaps a sense of having a bit more space, where your thoughts don’t feel packed quite as tightly together.
Please take a moment and try this guided 3-minute beginner breath practice now and see for yourself.
If you paused and tried the meditation - well done! You just took a step towards creating a steadier mind; one that is calmer, more present, clearer, more focused and more at ease.
The biggest challenge you will have is turning this into a practice, since 3-minutes as a one-off isn’t going to wire in much of anything. But it is a taste of steadiness and proof that you can do this.
Steadiness Leads to Strength and Flexibility
This simple breath practice is the first step. It is the ‘muscle’ you need to leverage a host of cognitive tools that allow you to quickly reframe situations, take in more detail, hold greater focus, be more connected, access greater creativity and find flow and joy in your day.
Initially, aim to practice for 3-minutes/day. When you have that down, you can add ‘more weight to the bar’ and increase your practice to 5-minutes/day. Then see if you can get up to 10-minutes/day.
And if you are finding all of this quite challenging - this is the work I do – I provide people with the knowledge, tools, structure and accountability to help them develop the habits they desire. Think of me as your strategic advisor and fitness trainer for your brain!
When All Else Fails – Self-Compassion
While steadying your mind is straightforward, it is very hard for most people to start or sustain a practice. Even more so without a coach keeping you on track.
And some days you won’t feel like doing it. In those moments, rather than beat yourself up, practice self-compassion. Life is already harder than usual these days and the ongoing pandemic does affect our mental wellbeing. Be kind to yourself.
And the next day, with renewed enthusiasm, get back at it, knowing that a calmer, more settled and steadier mind is exactly what you want and need for the days ahead.
Thank you for pausing long enough to read this post. Please share your thoughts and comments, as we all learn from each other.
I train CPAs how to delete the overwhelm, discern what matters most, and drive their future. If you want to find more time in your day, more focus at work and more joy in your life, please email me at scott@mindfulwisdom.ca or click here to schedule time to talk. I would love to learn more about your world and to explore what you are looking to create more of in your life. Stay safe, stay focused on what matters most and stay positive!